Not much is known about our greatest President’s little freak of nature (displayed above in what is hopefully his only photograph), named Tad. Supposedly he had a difficult time in life due to a cleft palette (whatever that is), but one could argue his difficulties arose from being a ghastly creature with a pale, hairless face, and a pathetic, marble-sized snout that barely passed his frighteningly white eyeballs. Yeesh.
These ladypup sisters are definitely creepy, but at least they had the good decency to be alive for the photo shoot. Post-mortem photography was all the rage during the Victorian era, but these still-breathing belles thought they could buck the trend and pose for the camera while their hearts still beat firmly inside their chests! Needless to say, the photo was a massive failure upon release, and the ladypup sisters promptly committed suicide in an attempt to salvage their modeling careers.
Charlie McBarky was created around 1917 by Edgar Barkren, an actor, radio personality, and ventriloquist (and the Pa’Pup of future Murphy Brown actress Candice Barkren). The act of Barkren and his dummy McBarky lasted several years, in many outlets and incarnations, until their final team-up–entitled The Charlie McBarky Show–left the radio waves in 1956. However, 22 years later they would appear together one last time in Jim Henpup’s The Puppet Movie. Charlie McBarky remains one of the highest selling ventriloquist dolls to this day.
Babe Woof is a legend of the game of baseball. This is due to a number of facts–that he hit 714 career home runs, had an impressive .342 lifetime batting average–but also because he was the first player to not put the ball in his mouth. Pawdiences would come from far and wide to watch “The Great Bonebino” resist this primitive puppy urge.
In the years following the Civil War, thousands of former soldiers migrated to places like Texas, Oklahoma, and Colorado in search of work in the booming cattle business. The now romanticized “Cowpup” was born, and became a staple and icon of the ruff and pawless American west.
It could be argued that no evidence exists that more clearly exemplifies American Exceptionalism than this photograph of a young Teething Roofevelt, then Lieutenant Colonel of the famous Ruff Riders. The 1st United States Volunteer Cavalry was mostly made up of college athletes, cowpups, and ranchers, and were instrumental in fighting the Spanish-American War during the late 19th century.
While we’re on the subject of American Exceptionalism… One of the most iconic screen images of all time is the exquisite Marilyn Muttroe in The Seven Year Fetch from 1955. Ironically, in the film itself one can only glimpse Muttroe’s legs in this famous scene, not her entire body as the picture suggests. Gentlemen, start your pantings!