Pup Jokes

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Q: What kind of noise did the pup make on the roller coaster?
A: An amusement bark!

Q: What is a puppy’s favorite kind of children’s book?
A: A scratch and sniff!

Q: What’s a pup’s favorite mid-day snack?
A: A growl-nola bar.

Q: How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster?
A: Terrier-fied!

Q: What do you get if you cross a gun pup with a telephone?
A: A golden receiver!

Q: What do you get if you cross a Beatle with an Australian pup?
A: Dingo Starr!

Q: What do you call a pup magician?
A: A labracadabrador.

Q: What do you get when you cross a race pup with a bumble bee?
A: A Greyhound Buzz.

Q: What do you call a large pup that meditates?
A: Aware wolf.

Q: What is it called when a cat wins a pup show?
A: A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!

Q: Why does a detective hate pups?
A: Because he doesn’t like being tailed.

Q: What do you call a frozen pup?
A: A pupsicle.

Q: Why did the pup cross the road?
A: To get to the “barking” lot!

Q: What did the skeleton say to the pup?
A: “Bone appetit!”

Q: What do you call a black Eskimo pup?
A: A dusky husky!

Q: How is a pup and a marine biologist alike?
A: One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.

Q: What do you get if you cross a pup with a frog?
A: A pup that can lick you from the other side of the road!

Q: When does a pup go “moo”?
A: When it is learning a new language!

Q: How does a computer programmer catch a dog?
A: With an internet.

Q: How many puppies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to screw it in, and two to sniff its butt.

Q: Why did the poor pup chase his tail?
A: He was trying to make ends meet!

Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A: A collie-flower!

Q: Why do pups wag their tails?
A: Because no one else will wag it for them!

Q: Why didn’t the pup speak to his foot?
A: Because it’s not polite to talk back to your paw!

Q: Who is every pup’s favorite comedian?
A: OldPup’s very own Minister of Serious Business, Growlcho Barx!

Q: What did the cowboy say when the bear ate Lassie?
A: “Well, doggone!”

Q: What happened when the pup went to the flea circus?
A: He stole the show!

Q: How do you know if your pup is not very bright?
A: It chases parked cars!

Q: What is a pup’s favorite sport?
A: Formula 1 drooling!

Q: What do you get if you take a really big pup out for a walk?
A: A Great Dane out!

Q: What do you call a pup with no legs?
A: It doesn’t matter…. he’s not going to come anyway.

Q: Where does a Rottweiller sit in a movie theater?
A: Anywhere it wants to!

Q: What is a puppy’s favorite color?
A: They’re color blind, silly!

Q: What did the angry man sing when he found his slippers chewed up by his new puppy?
A: “I must throw that doggie out the window!”

Q: What kind of pup does Dracula have?
A: A bloodhound!

Q: Why did the pup wear white sneakers?
A: Because his boots were at the menders!

Q: Why does the pup bring toilet paper to the party?
A: Because he is a party pooper.

Q: What is every pup’s favorite food?
A: Anything that is on your plate!

Q: What do you do if your pup eats your pen?
A: Use a pencil instead!

Q: What do you get if you cross a pup with a cheetah?
A: A pup that chases cars – and catches them!

Q: What might happen if it rains cats and dogs?
A: You might step in a poodle!

Q: What sort of clothes does a pet pup wear?
A: A petticoat!

Q: What did the pup say to his owner?
A: Nothing! Pups don’t talk, ya’ silly goose!

Q: What do you get if you cross a pup with a lion?
A: A terrified postman!

Q: What happened to the pup that ate nothing but garlic?
A: His bark became much worse than his bite!

Q: What’s the first thing an army of pups hear in the morning?
A: The beagle player.

Q: What is every pup’s favorite flower?
A: Anything in your garden!

Q: What pup wears contact lenses?
A: A cock-eyed spaniel!

Q: What’s every pup’s favorite hobby?
A: Collecting fleas!

Q: What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal?
A: That hit the spots!

Q: What do you get if you cross a Rottweiller with a hyena?
A: I don’t know but I’ll join in if it laughs!

Q: What’s a pup’s favorite fast food restaurant?
A: McDogald’s!

Q: What do you get if you combine a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster?
A: Cockerpoodledoo!

Q: What do you call a sheepdog’s tail that can tell tall stories?
A: A shaggy dog’s tale!

Q: What kind of pup can use the phone?
A: A Dial-Matian!

Q: What kind of pup would you find in a cave?
A: A Bat Terrier

Q: Which pup is very obedient?
A: A Sit Bull Terrier

Q: What do you get when you cross a small pup with a large boat?
A: A Ship Tzu

Q: Why are Dalmatians no good at “Hide and Seek”?
A: They’re always spotted!

Q: Who is the most revered pup in all of Tibet?
A: The Doggy Lama.

Q: What pup will laugh at any joke?
A: A Chi-ha-ha

Q: Where do the pups go for the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade?
A: New Yorkie, of course!

Q: What’s black and white and red all over?
A: An embarrassed Dalmatian

Q: What breed of pup loves to take a bath?
A: A Shampoodle

Q: How do you keep a pup from smelling?
A: You hold its nose!

Q: Why did the pup shout at the bug?
A: Because it was a bark beatle.

Q: What did one flea say to the other flea when they walked out of the movies?
A: Shall we walk or take the dog?

Q: Why did the man bring his pup to the railroad station?
A: Because he wanted to “train” him!

Q: What kind of pup can jump as high as a tall building?
A: Any kind. A building can’t jump!

Q: Why does a pup scratch himself?
A: Because no one else knows where it itches!

Q: What is more amazing than a talking pup?
A: A spelling bee!

Q: What is a pup’s favorite button on a remote control?
A: The “paws” button!

Q: What kind of pup does a mad scientist have?
A: A Laboratory Retriever!

Q: What does a pup turn into when it gets hot?
A: A hot dog!

Q: Where should you never take a pup?
A: To the flea market.

Q: Why did the pup carry a clock?
A: He wanted to be a watch dog!

Q: What did the pup say when he sat on sandpaper?
A: “Rough!”

Q: How do you keep a pup from barking in your front yard?
A: Put it in your backyard!

Q: What do you get when you cross a Rottweiler with a collie?
A: A pup who bites you…and then goes for help!

Q: Why aren’t pups good dancers?
A: Because they have two left feet!

Q: Why don’t blind people like to sky dive?
A: Because it scares their guide dog!

Q: Why did the dachshund bite the woman’s ankle?
A: Because he couldn’t reach any higher!

Q: Why did the snowman call his pup “Frost”?
A: Because Frost-bites!

Q: Why do you need a license for a pup and not for a cat?
A: Because cats can’t drive, silly!

Q: What do you call a nutty pup in Australia?
A: A dingo-ling!

Q: What is the holiest pup there is?
A: A St. Bernard!

Q: How do you catch a runaway pup?
A: Make a noise like a bone!

Q: When is a black pup NOT a black pup?
A: When it’s a greyhound!

Q: What do you call young pups who play in the snow?
A: Slush puppies!

Q: Where does a pudgy puppy shop?
A: In the husky section!

Q: Why do pups run in circles?
A: Because it’s too hard to run in squares!

Q: What do you get if you combine a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A: A hot-diggity-dog!

Q: What do you call a great pup detective?
A: Sherlock Bones!

Q: Why is a tree like a big pup?
A: They both have lot of bark!

Q: What are caterpillars afraid of?
A: Dogger-pillars!

Q: How do fleas travel from place to place?
A: By itch-hiking

Q: What do you call a pup that is left handed?
A: A south paw!

Q: What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
A: Hailing taxis!

Q: What do you get if you cross a pup with an airplane?
A: A jet setter!

Q: What do dogs have that no other animals have?
A: Puppies!

Q: Where do Eskimos train their pups?
A: In the mush room!

Q: What makes more noise than a pup barking outside your window?
A: TWO pups barking outside your window!

Q: What do you call a happy Lassie?
A: A jolly collie!

Q: What kind of pup likes to smell flowers?
A: A bud hound

Q: What happened to the pup that swallowed a firefly?
A: It barked with de-light!

Q: What do pups eat at the movies?
A: Pup-corn!

Q: What did the three legged dog say when he walked into the saloon?
A: I’m lookin’ for the dog that shot my paw.

Q: What is every pup’s favorite dessert?
A: Pup-cakes!

Q: Is it raining cats and dogs?
A: It’s okay, as long as it doesn’t rein-deer!

Q: D’ya’ wanna hear a diiiiirty puppy joke?
A: A white puppy fell in a mud puddle.

Q: Did you hear about the dog that gave birth to puppies at the side of the road?
A: She got a ticket for littering!

Q: Why do pups bury bones in the ground?
A: Because you can’t bury them in trees!

Q: Why are pups like phones?
A: Because they have collar IDs.

Q: What happens to a pup that keeps eating bits off of the table?
A: He gets splinters in his mouth!

Q: What kind of pup wears a uniform and medals?
A: A guard dog!

Q: What do you call a pup in jeans and a sweater?
A: A plain clothes police dog!

Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with a skunk?
A: You get RID of the dog!

Q: What do you get if you cross a computer with a Rottweiller?
A: A computer with a lot of bites!

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